Some thoughts on Coach-ability

Joy here...Back in 2010 I started up a running blog with my running buddy, Nomi, East and West Running, and for two years we wrote updates on our running training as we improved from being running nobodys to completing half marathons (me) and marathons (her).  Our blog was mostly upbeat as we improved and set ourselves new challenges.

Then in 2012 I got more into cycling, and Nomi lost interest in blogging (especially since some knee pain had sidelined her running for a while), so we put our co-written blog to bed, and I branched into my own little sporting blog, this one here.

I got myself a cycling coach, and then in short order I got myself a running coach.  I had visions of being a supreme athlete, and this blog would be a place where I'd be able to chart my successes.

But life has a funny way of dealing with hubris.  As with each passing day, as commitment issues, scheduling conflicts, and the insanity of life derailed my sporting plans one by one, I resisted the temptation to allow this blog to simply become a catalogue of my complaints (and I apologize now for the whinging that has needled its way into so many of my posts as of late).  But if I wasn't hitting my workouts, what the heck would I write about?  If I wasn't charting pace and distance, what the heck would I chart?

I ended up letting my cycling coach go after admitting that I just really didn't have the heart to commit to racing my bike.  With my life up in the air, too much travel, and too many other obligations, I just couldn't commit to the hours on my bike necessary to be really competitive.  Now my bike sits, resting against the wall, calling plaintively to me, and I will return to it.

Soon.

In the meantime, I'm hanging onto my running coach by the skin of my teeth, and I'm sure he's supremely disappointed in me as he sets up a training plan specifically designed for me, and I'm lucky if I hit any of those tailored workouts.  It must be like a chef slaving over a gourmet meal specifically tailored to someone who then sits there and maybe picks off a grape before leaving the dish untouched. I feel like a failure and an ingrate.

But more than that, I'm grappling with larger questions about my "coachability."  I wonder if all the excuses I have - scheduling, travelling, hosting, busyness, laziness - are all symptoms of a larger condition, my un-coachability.  

You see, I've realized that I'm not the greatest employee.  I have been both a high school English teacher and an English professor, and while I pat myself on the back and think that I was pretty good at both of those jobs, I didn't last too long at either of them.  I was a high school teacher for a total of 2 years, and a prof for a total of 5; my problem was usually that I really like my autonomy a lot and find it really hard to work within someone else's structure.  I know this about myself professionally, which is why I'm self-employed.  I get tonnes done, make my own schedule, get to be my own boss, and balance the things that I want without chaffing against someone else's framework.

Now I'm beginning to wonder if this over-inflated need for autonomy in me as a professional might also be linked to my under-performance as a coach-able athlete.

While The Man is very good at following workouts as outlined by his coaches (he has the same running coach that I do, and he picked up my cycling coach, to the great happiness of both of them). He is extremely coach-able, and always has been.  I admire that about him.  But as I admire many traits in many people that I don't have, I am wondering about what trait it is that I am lacking that has made me be the worst coaching client of all time.

And as I continue to ponder this question - my frustrating un-coach-ability - I will lace up my shoes and head out the door for my first run in what seems like months.

Over and out,
Joy