"It's Just Ballast"

bal˙last

n.

Heavy material that is placed in the hold of a ship or the gondola of a balloon to enhance stability.

Joy here…You know the song by Sir Mix-a-Lot, "I like big butts…"?  (Now I dare you not to have that song stuck in your head all day.)  Well, that song is kind of like my theme song.  Not only do I dance to it any chance I can get (including the weddings of my friends and my own wedding, or at high school graduations - not my own), but it also kind of encapsulates my physique:  "little in the middle, but she got much back…"

This was struck home to me (forcefully) just the other night.

We were invited to dinner where we would get to see a guy that The Man rode with on his very first ever road ride here in Malaysia.  That was almost 20 years ago, before The Man knew anything about lycra or slim road cycling wheels, before I had ever met him or knew that he existed on the other side of the world just waiting to meet me, the most awesome woman ever who would become the most awesome wife ever.  He was just a kid riding a mountain bike, wearing baggy shorts, and hanging out with the Europeans.

The guys riding "back in the day" (c. 1998).

Well, one of these Europeans was paying a visit to Malaysia, and I would get to meet him for the first time.

Upon meeting me, he immediately compliments me saying that I look like a cyclist.  Now before I got a chance to get all chuffed and feel good about myself, he immediately says (in a thick Austrian accent):  "no extra up top; you don't need anything up there" (gesturing to my non-existent boobs), "it's just ballast," he concludes smiling away at me.

Who knew that needing nothing more than a AA training bra well into my 30s would translate into me having a great cycling physique?  I guess I wouldn't have spent so much time as a teenager wishing that my boobs would eventually grow (which they didn't) had I known that really all they are is unnecessary ballast!

Let's just say that compared to me, this girl
is positively buxom.

Dammit, Walter, where were you when I was 15 and suffering from low self esteem due to flat chestedness?

Can't wait to ride with him this week and show him what my power butt, unfettered by excess ballast on my chest can do!

Over and out,
Joy