A Triumph of Mediocrity

Joy here...As I mentioned, we headed out of town shortly after our Saturday workout (ahem, where I ran with an Olympian...ha ha), and because I had been so diligent with seven straight days of hitting workouts that week, I gave myself Sunday off.  It is, after all, supposed to be a day of rest, right?

Turning around to walk downhill towards
that CN tower in the distance.

While we rested, we visited with friends--including ones who just welcomed their second daughter on February 14th and our tall, lanky friend who has been our running buddy and ski coach in the past and my super cute little nephew--and amidst the visiting, we snuck in a Monday morning run.

We headed out into the chilly city streets and started running steadily uphill for about 25 minutes.  Now I've been having a little bit of shin pain lately...probably due to the fact that I'm a lazy stretcher...and going uphill in the crisp morning wasn't doing me any favours.  I turned to The Man and said, "I'm not sure that I should keep going, I'm having some discomfort."  We were only planning an easy 40 minute run, but we made the executive decision to just turn around and walk down that hill back to the house where we were staying.

And as we walked we enjoyed being in a city.  Over the past four months, we were lucky enough to be in London, Kuala Lumpur, Singapore, and Melbourne, and being in Toronto for the weekend brought back all those good feelings that cities always bring.  There's a vibe, a sense of liveliness, progress, ambition, choice, variety, and diversity everywhere you turn, not to mention the mere presence of pedestrian traffic...sidewalks aren't bare, and shops aren't closed.

exciting Singapore

sparkling Kuala Lumpur

All these trips have really hit home to me how much I miss living in a city.  Ottawa, as lovely as it is in many ways as a quaint capital with some pretty infrastructure, just isn't a city per se.  And for a long time when we first moved here, I took it as a personal challenge to make the best of this place that we had found ourselves living in.  I mean, it's not so bad, is it?

In a word:  yes.

lively London

dramatic Melbourne

It is so bad.  It's not bad in dramatic ways or drastic ways, but rather it's bad in insidious ways.  As one article puts it, Ottawa is:  "a triumph of mediocrity."*  And, well, I couldn't have put it better had I tried.

Ottawa is a nice place.  It's a kind place.  It's a safe place.  It's a good place.  And it's a fine place.

But simply:  it's an average place.

It's a place that makes you feel bad to complain about, because really (aside from the weather) there is nothing all that wrong with it.

And, yet, that is actually exactly what's wrong with it.  Ottawa feels kind of like that boyfriend or girlfriend you find yourself with, who you know you should be very much in love with, but you just aren't.  And no matter how many people tell you how much you should love him or her, or how lucky you are to be with him or her, you just aren't feeling it.

I've given Ottawa nearly six years of my life.  I've tried my darndest to fall in love with it.  But the ole girl still just doesn't do it for me.

Toronto (at least it's a city)

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not here to sing the praises of Toronto necessarily, but our weekend in Toronto did remind me that I'm dying a little bit each day on the inside living in this "triumph of mediocrity."  I'm allowing my creativity, my ambition, my drive, and my desires to do and be things that I can't even imagine and can barely dream of to slowly whittle away as each year I curl more and more inwards on myself under the weight of feeling like I should be much more appreciative of this bastion of mediocrity than I can actually feel.

Ottawa is a place where the virtues of a stable job, a nice family, and a comfortable retirement are touted by one and all as not just the most desirable life path, but virtually the only one.  Anything that seems a little bit different than that is seen to be a bit gauche or not on.  I find myself self-censoring, because to admit ambition that goes beyond this place and frustration with this place is like some kind of sacrilege.  So I spend a lot of time feeling frustrated, guilty, and unhappy.

And that's just no way to live.

So for all of you out there who love this little "triumph of mediocrity," I am envious of you.  I'm happy for you, and I wish I could be you.

Ottawa:  parliament and...well, yeah, parliament

But it's taken me to my mid (late) thirties to admit to myself that I really need to be in a city not because cities are so amazing in and of themselves, but rather because cities are lively and vibrant places where the best of the best (in every field) tend to congregate, so for someone like me who rises and falls to the level of those around her, if I'm not around the best of the best, then I will never reach my own best.

And that's just no way to live.

While I'm stuck here for now, I'm working hard to make other opportunities arise for me and The Man.  Because really, the world is our oyster and we should feel that and know that and not get sucked into any vortex of mediocrity.

So, Ottawa, let me just say:  "it's not you, it's me."

Over and out,
Joy

*The full article from Canada.com analyzes Ottawa's high ranked place as a place to live, pointing out that Ottawa scores no top 10 points in any categories, but a lot of above-average points overall.