The Pros and Cons of Assos

Joy here...in my last post I celebrated our new espresso machine, and the excitement that comes from getting hopped up on caffeine either post- or pre-workout.

And, well, seeing as how I am a pretty big bike nerd, it shouldn't be too surprising to learn that I would find a way to accessorize my new espresso machine with something bike-related.

My new Assos espresso cups!

You see in the world of cycling apparel and accoutrements, there are really two gold-standard companies:  Rapha and Assos.  They make good quality, expensive merchandise and capitalize on the gullibility and trend-following tendencies of cyclists.

I admit to being guilty of both.

However, I have written before about Rapha (both as a tribute to its awesomeness and as part of the list Nomi and I compiled of our "favourite things"), and to those early expressions of enthusiasm (even gushing), I hold.  The quality of my Rapha gear--everything from cycling socks to winter cycling jackets to cycling shorts to cycling caps etc.--is beyond reproach, and what I can say is that the items seem to be made by and for people who actually cycle.

Assos, on the other hand, seems to need some serious help, especially when it comes to its women's line.  Here are some problems that make my blood boil about Assos's women's items:

1.)  "Lady":  The guy's line of products are for "Man," but the women's items aren't for women (or womyn if you wanna be seriously feminist), but rather for "Lady."  Excuse me while I don my petticoat before I take off for a bike ride on my side saddle.

Phewf...maybe I can
fit a condom in that back
pocket in case I get lucky
out there on a ride.

Good thing I've got one, teeny
pocket for my makeup compact.

2.)  Lack of Pockets:  The women's jerseys come equipped with one, lame back pocket.  Um, yeah, just enough for my lip gloss and my tampon; who needs an extra tube, some food, or even a multitool when out on a ride to pick up guys (which brings me to my next point...)

Excuse me while I go for
a bike ride...or just go and
pole dance for a while.

I could go cycling...or I could just
play with my breasts instead.

3.)  Super LAME Advertising:  For the men's clothing items from Assos, they just show a guy standing there wearing Assos clothing.  Granted he's buff and wearing sunglasses, and you're supposed to think he's a hottie, but at least he's just standing there.  The women's items, however, are straight from Victoria's Secret.  It's ridiculous.  I know that "sex sells" but seriously...for bike shorts??????


So even though their cycling clothes are of good quality and of a similar price point to Rapha, I buy Rapha every time, and I generally just think of Assos products as the brunt of jokes or the topic of my rants.

But then I brew myself a little cup of espresso and drink it out of the only Assos item I would ever buy, and all is right in my world.

The only thing Assos makes that isn't ASS!

That is until Rapha starts making espresso cups!

Over and out,
Joy

Today's Ride Stats:
warm up
5 minutes of sprints X2 (with a 3 minute break between each set)
cool down