From each according to his/her ability...

Joy here…If you read this blog, then it'll be no surprise to you that I'm having a hard time committing to my running goals and objectives.  And as I was out there doing a 5km run today, I was thinking about that.  My last running race was in 2011, and I quit my job as a professor in 2011.  I've felt a little bit at sea since then; sure I've done lots of things - I took up bike racing; I launched a consulting firm; I moved to Malaysia; I co-founded a series of kids books - but I've not felt the same focus and drive that I've been used to.

Don't get me wrong, there's no way you could persuade me to be a prof again, but I haven't yet fully hit on the next thing that I'll be stuck into for 5 years or so as a challenge.

And as I ran around and around and around the 500m loop in my neighbourhood, I couldn't help but think about that desire for challenge…or about motivation to be more precise.

You see, I think that I'm a very goal oriented person.  Set me a finish-line, and I'll run my little heart out for it.  But in the absence of that finish-line, I'm liable to put my feet up on the coffee table and take a bit of a break.

In fact, one of the things that led to leave academia was the lack of goals and objectives.  You see, once you actually become a prof there are no more finish-lines, especially if your Chair sits you down and says (as mine did), "You have enough published now for tenure, so don't worry about that."  Professional academia is a place where the pursuit of knowledge and excellence are ends in and of themselves.

I think for some athletes, sport is an end in and of itself.

It leads me to think of that oft-quoted maxim from Marx: "From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs."  You see, anyone who has done any graduate-level humanities work will be familiar with Marxism to some degree.  Academics seem unable to resist the siren call of socialism; it's easy to see why:  what's so bad about envisioning a world where everyone is equal and the unjust methods of wealth distribution are abolished?  It sounds positively utopian.

The glitch for me isn't in the theoretical appeal of socialist or Marxist ideals, but in their practical applicability.  You see, I've come to the realization that the whole "according to his ability" thing is a little too static for me.  For without external motivation, there's just no way in heck I would be able to learn what my abilities may be.

Without a race to run, I would never learn how to run.  Without a bigger piece of the economic pie, I wouldn't know what I could ultimately produce.

Now what does all of this mean?

Well, the good news is that The Man and I are in the middle of an interesting project that we're developing together in addition to my other work, and if the potential of this project is what we think it might be, then it just might offer the kind of motivational challenge that I've been looking for for the next few years.

And I suspect that once I'm stuck in with a big professional challenge, one that gets me excited and makes me see the myriad mini-goals on the way to the finish line, I'll also feel somehow more committed to my sporting goals.

In the meantime, let's just hope that I can keep it together long enough to run my next 10km race in Cambodia.  Surely I have the ability to do that, don't I?

Over and out,
Joy